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//28.4.2003 8:04:26 PM
Current TV Craze
Check it out! Big brother...
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//28.4.2003 4:28:55 PM
Felicity
They are showing Felicity over here from 2pm to 3pm and it’s funny ‘cos when I was in the locker room of the gym today I saw it on TV and I actually reversed my workout schedule to put my running first just so I can catch it on TV while running!
Why? You might ask… Hmm… Maybe it’s ‘cos it was something I can watch to get my mind off running so I can motivate myself to run more… I guess it’s just a nostalgic feeling the show has… like Ally Mcbeal has on me… I can’t really explain it… It’s not like as if their lives has anything to do with mine… or even the things they are sad about has not direct meaning to me… Maybe it’s just their lives… their loneliness… their deep thoughts…
It’s a hole and I’m going back in there… ‘cos it feels comfortable there… at least til this July when Kat’s back in my life…
Hsu mentioned then Lynn’s bf is always over at her place whenever he’s not doing anything… ‘He might as well stay there’ she says… I guess she’s right… When you have a companion or loved one around you just to ‘hang’ time seems to go by faster and easier… Just like me staying in the sauna… I always look at the time and 15mins in there seems like eternity! I used to like saunas but not when I’m alone and the place is all quiet…
Anyway! 2 weeks going on 3 weeks now! My gym is the only thing I actually look forward to doing now days! Had 9 sessions already and lost 1kg only… Hmm… I think it’s the food 
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//24.4.2003 8:45:12 PM
Mesh of Feelings and Thoughts
I guess it’s never good to update me blog after a few days at a time. I had many things on my mind but all of which is jumbled up and I don’t know how to write them down in a ‘censored’ and ‘politically’ correct way.
Anyway, the most prominent thing that I can remember is the word IGNORANCE. I think everyone ‘suffers’ from it… Yet they can’t do without it. It is the willingness to selectively choose what to care about and what to ignore. For example, I think people who are depressed all the time are people who choose NOT to ignore what is going on in there lives and around them. For that I respect them! As for me? I am the weaker majority that chose be ignorant to things that I do, feel and think because I don’t want to face the reality of it. A basis of all high! Numbness from feeling…
How did I get here? My past? My experiences? Or just sheer tiredness from being the minority that ‘cares’ and feel depress? Life’s a journey… That’s the cliché that everyone tells you about. I believe everyone’s the same… It’s just the sheet on top that’s different… How moral you are? How just you are? How ‘Christian’ you are? How kind, rude, violent, loving, hard hearted… For some, piracy is a sin, for others lying… Yet others prostitution and even others Murder… The ‘holies’ will tell you all of them are… But others might argue that piracy is not…
As I always say… ‘blessed are the fools, for they determine the wise’… It’s in the light that you can see your shadow… It’s also in the dark that you can see a light clearly… The righteous, ‘holy’ or moral people are the ones that will shine as the bible like to call it to show others their shadow or filth…
What am I talking about? Seriously… I don’t know… I feel depression… actually I WANT to feel depression… It’s a nostalgic feeling to feel depressed… Sometimes I can feel like a shining light for God but other times I feel like the shadow… Like a broken light bulb flickering in an empty room… Why am I so lethargic and lazy this semester? Maybe I’m just tired… I’m tired of life’s journey… I tired of being the darkness always fighting to be the light…
That’s enough aimless blabbering for a while…
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//17.4.2003 12:41:50 PM
Life’s Good! I’m Not Bored!
I’ve been to the gym continuously for 3 days already… Muscles aching like hell but its fun! The motivation is still there… Hmmm… I’m trying to figure out why that is… I’m usually very lazy especially when it comes to exercising. Why have I got so much motivation then to work out now at this gym?
Well at least it gives me something to do… I’m not bored anymore… I can work out to past time! Hang out in the sauna and just relax after.
Surprisingly the one that is bored is Amelia! She called me out of the blue yesterday and said she wanted to talk ‘cos she was bored! Guess Perth can be THAT boring huh… I’m always very amazed by her ability to remember events and things vividly… Like when she was relating this show she watched during her class it was… (wait, let me see my note book)… ‘Wrestling Ernest Hemingway’ (had to refer! Cannot remember  )… Anyway she was able to relate the whole story down to the things they said! Hmmm… I’m amazed… Should I be? Or is it just me? That I can’t remember things?
Got a test later and still a bit blurry on the facts… Now can only trust in God for the rest…
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//14.4.2003 11:14:43 AM
Getting Fit!
I joined Fitness First just now! Going to the gym to 'work out' haha... Nice environment... Hope I can keep this motivation up
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//13.4.2003 10:11:45 PM
Slimming Down
The will to exercise is like the conversation I had with Amelia about
people’s willingness to lead a Christian life. How is it that some people
can have that ‘fire’ for God and actually love and look forward to
church activity and stuff and others have to kinda ‘force’ themselves
to do it? Some feel a deep reverence (or rather obligation?) to go to church?
Same with exercise… Some loves it and find it fun to do but others have
to drag themselves to do it. And it takes great effort to go do it. It has to
be right! There must the right company… People around you to ‘peer’
influence you into let’s say jogging… I remember I used to like jogging…
with my friends in army… We used to do that late at night after everything
is done and we have free time… Can you imagine that?
When I came out of army and after my toe healed I ever asked if Kat would go jogging
with me… But there is always something that would deter us… Either
she didn’t feel like it or I didn’t. Hmmm… Guess what? Now I
have problem motivating myself and she is jogging by herself or rather with another
friend… Going gym and all that…
Guess people change huh?... Interests change huh?
‘Super’ Abilities
Wow! How I wished I had Dustin’s abilities man! If so I will never
be depressed ever again… I will have the ability to use logic to isolate
my depressing thoughts and imaginations and destroy them! I will isolate out jealousy
and erase it! I then can really ‘INTELLECTUALLY’ be ‘willing’
myself to do the right thing and do whatever is the best for the one I love! Then
she will never be hurt again. What power that will be!
I then also can use logic to tell myself I need to read the Bible more, exercise
more and study harder! Then I can be Tuvok in Star Trek… ‘Logic!...
Is the key!... Use logic!... All you need is logic!’ Then I can be a *beep*ing
Vulcan! (Vulcans are a species in Star Trek. They are people driven by pure logic
in all they do)
Back to reality
I mean like HELLO?! Anybody home?! *knocking*…
Since Smallville is the favourite quoting series I shall use one… ‘There
is no logical explanation when you are in love’ – Chloe (episode 2:02)
No one has Vulcan ability… To love, there is no logic. You ask someone why
‘you love me?’ and how do you answer that? Mine is simple:
1. You share the same emotions. She is sad, you are sad… She is happy…
you are happy…
2. The person is your soul mate, your bf/gf, your best friend and your prayer buddy.
3. You don’t need to call someone else to complain about the person you
‘love’ and his/her habits!
Sure there is uncertainty, sadness, jealousy… But it’s a packaged
deal man. It also has happiness, joy and sense of belonging, someone to share
you daily happiness and sadness with.
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//12.4.2003 11:43:49 PM
Blogging a homework?
My mum says stop blogging lah you hardly do it anyway...
It’s not 'cos I don't feel like it or have lost the 'fire' for writing... It’s just sheer lazyness that’s all. I’m lazy to turn on my PC… and if I do I’m lazy to get online… and if I do… I’m lazy to login to bV to write…lazy lazy lazy…
Is it ‘cos I’m getting fatter due to all my cooking, eating and lack of exercise… hmmm?
Anyway, I still DO like to blog… In fact, I write (with pencil) all my notes in point form to be written here. Each time I’m alone in Green Tea Hut near my school sipping on a glass of ‘First Kiss’ I’ll think about stuff and write them down to be blogged. So here are my ‘homework’…
Social Inept and Peer Acceptance
I recently did an amplitude test on my personality. I was an INFJ, an ‘Author’… ‘Willing to help others’… ‘Very complex’. It says I’m and introvert…
I notice myself that I seek for peer acceptance everywhere I go… Sad no? I do something and I tell about it… The constant strive to be ‘cool’… What’s not ‘cool’? Speaking up in class discussion at the risk of sounding funny? Did my past depressions cause this inability? Hmmm…
Too bad I didn’t study Psychology or Behavioral Science huh? … Anyway for interested in the amplitude test its…
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
Belinda’s Trip Here
Ok though there is not much to talk about in this title… I shall say something… Being lousy in memory and all…
Besides the 3 days she illustrated below in her entry… We visited a lot of other places and its fun to have someone visit… It gives you a sense of belonging… I felt like… ‘Wow! I stay in Brisbane and I can show you around!’… I feel like I know more places in the world more intimately than other people who hadn’t come over to study. Is that what makes us ‘snobbish’ over those not educated overseas? Or at least they think we are…
Since what I write that isn’t my personal life goes under censorship and has copyright protection… All I can say is that Belinda’s trip here is emotionally stirring and like a roller coaster, it leaves you knees weak after it… In my case its just the lack of motivation to work ‘cos I played to much
Not for certain other people though *beep*…
Coming Soon…
I will talk about Dustin’s ‘super’ powers in the next entry… Now must call Kat before she sleeps… Ciao…::h::
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//7.4.2003 12:20:52 PM
Others doing it for me...
Hmmm... More and more pple are writing on my blog. Maybe I should do a section like 'speaker's corner'... Anyways... Here is Hsu's writings:
Nurses and Accents
Two issues have sparked my interest recently. The first one is about public opinion of nurses in the light of SARS. There have been reports of nurses being ‘shunned’ when they are travelling using public transport in their uniforms. One nurse was late for work because the SBS bus driver refused to stop for her despite her frantic flagging attempts. Another was asked to move out of her apartment by her landlord. The head of the Nurses Association, knowing how ignorant Singaporeans can get, called for all nurses to change out of their uniforms before going home, in a bid to avoid the social stigma associate with the killer bug. Nurses are at the front-line, caring for the sick, making sure that the virus is contained. Yet they are subjected to this abuse that is totally uncalled for.
We may have one of the best health care systems in the world but this epidemic has certainly caught us off-guard. We may have the best equipment, well-trained professionals and a sense of timely crisis responsiveness but old attitudes are hard to change. Such is a reflection of the paradox of a society that has been the envy of many countries, both east and west. How is it that a society that developed (or on the way to being developed) and well-educated can be so ignorant and self-centred. Frankly, it amazes me. And it makes me sad as well. It’s sad that a lot of people have lost the ability to empathise.
Failure is not well-tolerated and accepted. Factions of the society who are less than perfect face a constant uphill battle to lead a normal life, a life that reinstates their sense of confidence and existence. Look at how handicap unfriendly our MRT stations are. When I first came to Australia, I was full of respect for the railway station staff that would go all the way out to help people on wheelchairs to get onto the trains.
So I constantly wonder when our society will shed its the achievement-orientated values. Will we ever grow into a society that can accommodate and accept people from diverse backgrounds? Particularly people with differences that traditionally have social stigmas. People with disabilities, alternative sexual orientations, different value systems from societal dominant one. Will there ever be this day when we stop looking at them through the glass of these labels and simply look upon them as our fellow human beings?
I read an interesting article today about how easily Singaporeans can acquire accents after spending a relatively short time overseas. The author of The Straits Times article ‘Speak like yourself, lah’ admitted to taking on a less-Singlish accent whenever he spoke to Caucasians, something that I’m guilty of too. He argues that by doing so, it is to allow the other culture to better understand us. Which brings me to the issue of the ‘white man disease’. More often than not, Asian cultures are the ones who accommodate the western culture in a cross-culture setting. A friend of mine went, “Why must it be us and not them? Ta ma de.” *chuckles*
Why do we constantly feel inferior even though we live in a region that houses one of the world’s oldest civilisations – the Chinese civilisation? This is a question that has constantly baffled me.
Even once in a while, Winnie, a good friend of mine will be amused at my lack of an acquired Aussie accent. I really don’t think I can bring myself to incorporate the idea of ‘Aussie mateship’ into my everyday speech patterns simply because the culture that I was brought up in does not believe in the ways of an egalitarian society.
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//3.4.2003 12:16:13 AM
Belinda's blogging at my blog...
its the 4th day of my stay in aussie land. Wow! didnt kn the situation was so bad in spore till i talk to my fren abt it. u guys better take care over there! guess when i'm back, i'll hv to go thru careful check & precaution when i start work.
the days in surfers paradise was fun, shop non-stop & bought so many things for pple, till my bag is Full! wonder how i'm gonna carry those stuffs back.
went 2 shop the 1st day at surfers. then went to ripley & infinity. Infinity was very interesting, got scared at a few stops esp when it's so dark & i cant see anything. Screamed a few time though,haha...
day 2 was at movie world. really excited abt it & spent quite a lot gettin stuffs 4 pple. HAiz...saddest thing was merv camera had no battery!! i couldnt take pictures wif my fav cartoon characters like tweety, bugs & the rest of the 'flower car' ... :O( anyway, i will just hv to remember those memories not captuured on pictures.
Day 3 was the Beach. The waves were so Strong! nvr experienced such strong wavws b4!! a pity we had to check out so we left rather early.... went to pacific fair 2 shop again, but enuf of buyin stuffs, goin broke already. It was the day to conqure Mt Tamborine! we had a hard time drivin up cos we didnt kn where the look out pt was.... but am rather impress wif merv being able to drive up the mt!! Impressed merv!!
okie gotta go now ..., will update soon!! c ya guys, take care k!
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//3.4.2003 12:00:36 AM
Back from Gold Coast! Write about it another time...
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