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//27.3.2003 10:04:49 AM
Roller Coaster
I ever read in a quiet time material that our work as in our jobs must
not turn into our idol or take up too much of our time. It is from God and it
shouldn’t have to be very stressful. But that has not been true for Kat
for as long as I was gone from Singapore. Working for 12hrs a day and all…
In short, she broke down because of her work. I felt so helpless not being able
to do anything…
So… I decided that since I’ll be doing nothing during my term break
anyway, I could go back to Singapore to surprise her! I decided it Tuesday night,
went ahead to and booked tickets and all that Wednesday… I even exclaimed
to Rufus, “This is about the most crazy thing I’ll every do in my
whole life”. It being: totally driven by passion and feelings instead of
logic. To “just do it”…
Sad to say, eventually I didn’t have the guts to! We are all to driven by
logic, by doing what is the most efficient, the most “right”. You
start thinking of all the consequences and the epidemic in Singapore and all.
Kat also kept assuring me its ok and I don’t need to come back. So I backed
out! Sheesh! Based on the interview I had the other day about social issues and
stuff over dinner at my place the other day, if I we and “ang-mo”
I would have done it! Its and Asian thing! We are all too driven by logic and
fear of consequences!
On a more religious node… I once exclaimed, our problem is that every time
we fall sick, how often do we seek the best doctor around – God? Instead
we see a doctor, we eat medicine… On the same issue, I didn’t pray
first, I acted on my own and did all that stuff without consulting the divine
“doctor”.
Bottom line:
1. No matter how I try to deny it, I too, am bounded by my own Asian thinking
and morals
2. The only right thing to do was to pray! I guess I never learn…
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//25.3.2003 12:50:38 PM
Updating brokenVase
Hmmm... Pearly mentioned she was amazed that I was able to study and write a blog and all that... I think the fuel for brokenVase is going off... That's just me! Never have a long enough attention span for something.
No! I think it's not brokenVase alone, its my own laziness, I have the more time then anyone I know and still I feel lazy doing stuff. Maybe coming back here early to take the driving test isn't a good thing after all.
Humility
Since God has blest me with intellect and the ablility to always miraculously do good in my exams despite my own sloth, I find that humility in my case is always a tough one! In my poly life and in uni here I've always have this problem of not being humble enough.
As Dustin said about not daring to count his blessings 'cos for me to count it, I feel that I would be so blessed that I fear that He would stop giving. Though I know very well that His grace is of course sufficient and all that.
My Russian Mistress
That's what Kat calls my car... I've finally transferred 'her' under my name and 'she' is finally mine now! After so through 'so much' together she is finally mine! (eeeww... sound like some cheezy soap opera  )
endnote: Yipee! Be's coming this sunday liao!
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//14.3.2003 2:43:49 PM
Car problems… again!
My car is leaking petrol… I’m gonna send it in for servicing tomorrow. Sigh, I do wish this is the last problem. Anyway, my parents keep nagging me to sell the car but I have grown use to this LADA and I don’t intend to sell it.
School stuff…
Work is starting to come in but still in manageable chunks. After my “fantastic” results least semester, I’m feeling a little pressure this sem to perform. I it would really be a disappointment if my results aren’t as good. The thing is, I chose a lot of difficult and heavy subjects this semester.
Oh well, guess I will need to keep trusting in Him.
Party tonight!
I’m going for a dance thingy tonight just for the kicks… but there was a major foul up in the arrangements with my friends about it… There is actually gonna be 2 different parties happening both in the city and one group is going the one and the other, thinking it’s the same thing, bought tix for the other! Now I’m going with lesser friends, to this other party, than expected.
Hmmm… Maybe I’ll not go and just go over to Guohui’s house and play games… It’s only $5 per tix… No great loss there… But my friends will be left to go without me… Hmmm…
Oh well, we’ll see my mood tonight
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//10.3.2003 10:58:47 AM
Delayed updates
I'm updating my blog every 3-5 days not because I got lazy writing blogs... I actually take down notes or points so I can write it in my blog later... The problem is not the updates but my laziness to get online ... I get lazy to dial in
and connect to the net over here.
Flaws in Singaporean's Sociology
I know I shouldn't be saying this but I really feel a bit sad when I come over
here and look at the students that come from Singapore studying here... Their
behaviour and speech...
I was just discussing this with Eugene the other day, first is the speech... I
know every country is unique and when we hear a person speak you can almost immediately
tell where they come from. I hear us 'Singaporeans' speak and hear our
less than perfect 'singlish' and all the 'lars' and the 'lors'...
I know that is what supposedly define us but I can't help but not feel proud of
it. Is it due to my strict english speaking up bringing?
Then there is this Singapore 'Kiasuism' by these actions we can almost
guess that the person is from Singapore! We got so proud of such behaviour that we
added the word 'kiasu' into the english dictionary and have comic characters
such as Mr Kiasu... Just like having 'Courtesy' campaigns... Its like
as if we are shooting ourselves in the leg... As I always say... 'If Singaporeans
were to be courteous, then there wouldn't be these campaigns... Ain't it?'
And finally SGians in school class discussions / participations... The thing is
we don't participate! And if we do, we fumble and sound silly... Why is that?
Is it because we were brought up 'spoon fed'? Or we have a hidden inferior
complex towards the 'ang-mos' here...
Sighting a story Hsu and Rufus told me... Imagine going on a vacation Gold Coast
and staying at a hotel there... Early in the morning in a far away 'ang-mo'
paradise, you hear those high pitched, LOUD SG, mums screaming at their kids at
the breakfast buffets... Sigh it has to be Singaporeans... You know like those
typical mums on the roads, when their child fell or got hurt the first thing that
they do was not to check whether they were hurt but scold them for carelessness...
An ang-mo over here once told me that maybe its 'cos of the fast pace and the
high cost of living... When we are stressed in such environments we tend to be
more rude and hot tempered... Who can blame all the youngsters for leaving SG
and migrating overseas?
Lessons from school
I'm taking a subject called IT project management... Last week's tutorial talked
about the high failure rates of projects... And how we can learn from failure...
Very true as well in our walk with God... As I always say 'if I get to do
my life over, I would do it exactly the same!' Its all my failures that define
my personality and my wisdom from God through my many failures...
Faith that pleases God
I've been reading a book called 'Faith that pleases God' in the book
the author Bob George quoted Ephesians 2:8,9... it said that we have been saved
through FAITH, and it is a GIFT from God... We need not earn our stay in heaven
because its a gift!
It also talks about how what God blesses as a SUPPLEMENT to our faith, He will
later curse as a SUBSTITUTE. What he meant is that to teach in sunday school,
read the quiet time, go church and all that, may start off as a supplement to
our faith but may eventually end up as a substitute to our faith in God... we
may feel that by doing all these we somehow have the faith that pleases Him and
'earn' His right to love us. Once it becomes a SUBSTITUTE then it is
no longer right with God anymore...
Quoting Bob 'We want something to show to our Father to prove our worthiness
to Him'... These are all 'fleshly' thinking... He says that 'religous
flesh' is a sign of shifted faith...
I only read til here... But what I can get from this is that our relationship
with the Father is like that of an earthly relationship with our spouse or lover...
If we love them, we would do things out of love... but once we cling on the relationship
because of obligation, then it is doomed... If we feel that we burden ourselves
with heaps of church 'activities' to feel 'religious' or go
to a church meeting because I 'have' to and its the 'religously
right' thing to do and not have the desire to do it... Then God says I'd
rather you not do it... First fix the source.... that is the fire for God... the
first love...
On a lighter node
I went up to Gold Coast with Hsu and Rufus last weekend... I drove! A total of
260km the whole day! 100km or 1hr plus up to Coolongatta beach and then since
it was raining we decided to leave and check out this mountain called Mt Tamborine...
I went up the steep mountain on the whindy road.... I see driving like playing
an RGP game... Everytime a attempt a drive its like earning experience after defeating
an enemy... in gaining exp, I gain level... The whole day's driving is kinda cool!
Can't wait for Belinda to come over so I can drive up again  ...
To see the photos I took on the various places... click here.
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//5.3.2003 9:45:39 AM
Back to school life
Life's slowly going back to 'normal', I'm slowly getting into the motion of things with tutorials and assignments coming in. I really don't know whether me studying 2 days a week will make me lose the momentum of things...
Seems like everything slowed down... Even at brokenVase... I kinda got lazy updating... That's 'cos I'm lazy to get online over here as I have to dial in not like ADSL in Singapore... Even uploading the photos is a chore... Sigh... I hope I'll get the time...
Interesting Events
Oh the only interesting events that happened to me over the past 3 days is, again, related to my LADA... On sunday we decided to go up Mt Coot-tha to check out the night view over the city... Everything was great until when we had to go home... My car wouldn't start! Everyone helped me push it still refused to start! I ended up having to leave the car there and allow Dustin to send me home so I can contact my mechanic to go up there with me the second day to see what's the problem is... And when he got there he just started it and it was running! What's up with that man!
The second thing that happened was on monday night I went over the Guohui's house to play CS and when I wanted to go home at 12Am in the morning I realized I had stepped on some dog shit! and once I got into the car it stank like crazy! I spent the next 1hr in the garage trying to clean the mess...
I'm beginning to wonder... 'cos so far in the span of 3 weeks not a lot of good came from this LADA... Is it just beginner's 'luck'? or something else?
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//3.3.2003 7:41:09 AM
Yet another month...
School's starting, people are all back... seems like life here in OZ land is beginning to pick up again.
Went to my church's bbq thingy last sat, it was quite fun actually... took some photos on it, check out the gallery!
And a latest update on my car... I went up to Mt Cootha last night to see the view but ended up coming home on Dustin's car! My car refused to start!! Don't know why... The mechanic will be coming to pick me to go take a look later... Hmmm... Is it because its old? Or something else is happening? Maybe God doesn't want me to be driving it... Or driving at all?
Anyone want's to own an old Lada?
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