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//27.11.2004 1:49:01 PM
Quick! Somebody get a doctor!... He's going into (CULTURE) shock...
Yesterday was a very draining day... Mentally, Physically and 'Liver-ly' draining... Had a meeting from 8.30am to 5pm then company dinner with alcohol from 5pm til 10pm+...
Being in OZ land for almost 3 years now... and working in QUT with a team of Germans and mingling with some OZs, I thought I was ready for any 'challenging' social events. I guess I was wrong...
I was mentally drained because throughout the whole meeting I was struggling to keep up... though I understand a lot of theory, I had little practice 'in the real world' with the business of Leonardo... Most of the things was still really new to me. I guess being a 'fresh grad' all over again shows that I've really got a lot to learn...
I was physically drained as I was up til quite late the night before and was in office by 8+ all the way til 12am before I slept and as I said before... socialising is physically tiring for me. Being an introvert, it takes an extreme amount of effort and strength for me.
I was liver-ly drained because alcohol was non-stop pretty much from 6-11pm... pretty much... And I made a mistake of ordering bourbon on the rocks instead od bourbon and coke... my boss gave me a supprised look...was it 'cos I was ordering too expensively? or 'cos I don't look like the hard liquor kind?
Culture shock?... yah in many subtle ways... kat and I felt that we handled it pretty well considering.... someone should write a 'Western socialism and mannerisms for dummy singaporeans'... Many times I feel so dumb among them... Do I also have the classic westerners-are-more-superior symtoms? Hmm...
Oh and you know what? Like in the 'ang-mo' movies... where people get a present and they go 'thank you!' and *prishh* (sound of wrapper tearing)... they start opening the present there and then... right in front of you... It happens in real life!!...Its good you know... 'cos you don't have to like in Singapore say 'thank you' in the straightest possible face and keep yourself from all the excitement of finding out what it is until you go home... hahaha...
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//20.11.2004 8:15:29 AM
There is always a mountain higher...
Today, we're gonna talk about evil... pure unadulterated evil...
When was the last time you looked evil in the eye, or saw evil do something to someone, or let evil guide you in doing something, or looked back at evil grinning at you saying 'you did well my son...' I have... and it makes me sick to the stomach! When I say 'I have...' its to the saw-evil-do-something-to-someone part... not partake in it.
So what does the title mean? everyone has sin and we daily struggle with it. We have God to protect us from this sin or to run to when we foul up and need to ask for forgiveness. these and the smaller 'mountains'... we all have cheated, lied, coverted, give false testimonies, lusted and in 'some' churches these are you-must-burn-in-hell kind of sin. but we forget to see the bigger mountains... the premeditated ones... planning scheming to do evil... laughing with him... chatting with the devil.. 'so whose lives are we gonna destroy today?' I'm talking 'hypotetically' about the adultery... Law and Order will no longer have storylines if they can't make stories out of cheating husbands and wives... those are evil people...
Cheating SOBs... the very cause of this blog entry... you think you are a bad person when you lie, think bad thoughts... then you see these cheating f@#$ers and you say hey maybe I'm not so bad... they lie to their spouses, mistresses and people around them while all premeditated! it takes as much intelligence/stupidity to do that as planning a serial killing spree! so is this lying, cheating, manipulative SOBs of equal standing to, say, a murderer? Murder in the first degree (planned murder)? yes! its not even manslaughter... its pure evil!!
Like murder, after the victim is killed, it effects their family, friends who cared and everyone around like a ripple effect. God says if you repent and you will be saved... how can someone who has planned to cheat for so long or has been cheating for so long ever come to God? or even want to ask for forgiveness?
Greg wrote about the ugliness of Singaporeans... compared to this, Singaporeans are beautiful! Oh and just in case you were thinking it happened to kat and me... no its not... like I said I saw-evil-do-something-to-someone-ELSE...
Ok enough of the sad stuff... I had nutella for breakfast today... err... hmm...
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//15.11.2004 4:55:51 PM
Love is contagious
'Looking at you love birds make me wanna get married soon' - Andy wrote this on our birthday card during our party... Do we really? Are we really that good a testament of love? I do hope that is real and not a facade we portray in front of our friends.
Yes! we ARE truly very much in love... thank you very much! so GO FORTH AND GET MARRIED ALL YE PEEPS!!!
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//10.11.2004 9:03:30 AM
Eeeks!! Conference paper...
The reason why I decided not to do a PhD is primarily to 'siam' from writing these scary pieces of paper... Mucking with endnote and citations and referencing... I thought those days when I was still writing my thesis is over! Since I decided not to remain in academia at least for the first 3+ years of my life, I thought I no longer have to face these times.
Now I have to finish this conference paper by friday and I haven't started yet! I've got heaps of papers to read and people to cite... One lecturer once said that publishings like these (journals, theses, conference papers, etc..) are like currency to them in academia. How many articles you have authorship of is how much recognition you will get. I never understoond this. But like a boy that was first awarded his first trophy... It feels kinda cool IF the conference paper is accepted to have written something like that...
Then some honors/Phd student or other researches can cite '(Chiang, et al, 2004)' hahaha... kinda funny... the conference has 30% acceptance rate... so all my fingers and toes are crossed  ... If authorship IS currencey, this is like getting your first ALLOWANCE! Well if you aren't considering my thesis as the first...
Ok... back to the paper...
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//6.11.2004 9:42:13 PM
Clarification
I wrote this in the comments section of the blog below... but it sounded to good to be just a comment so I pasted the entry here as a blog... (since some of you guys don't even know what a comment is... duh!)
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My purpose for blogging started when I wanted to write my true feelings... no masks, no faking and pretending to be jolly and happy all the time. Guess it depends on how you look at things... I hate hypocrites since I come from wilkie I gues you can kinda know what I mean... I don't like to smile and talk about life is beautiful when sometimes it's not! I hate to tell someone that its ok to do the thing they are doing to me when it is actually very annoying to me. I hate to tell someone that they are fine and its ok when they suck! That's what I mean... its not careless blabber... It's the truth! it's my truth... no masks... no hypocrocies... sigh... guess that's life... we live on one big stage where we're all actors...
Hey don't get offended by my rantings it's just random thoughts ok... 
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As some of you guys know me before this time of 'blissfull era'... I used to be a bitter person... especially of life and of a certain 'body/organisation' and to peeps in it... Now after the marriage I guess these bitterness vanished... Love does that to you...
Though this is true... I still feel that sometimes we are still hypocrites and it irks me at so being one... Many things irk me in small ways mainly of myself these days...
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//6.11.2004 9:24:07 AM
Lost purpose
After Yvonne's question of why 'brokenVase'? And when kat replied with http://www.brokenVase.com/
work/brokenvase.asp, I went to have a look at what I wrote... you know how my memory is about these things... I remembered my strong feelings and convictions when I first started to blog...
When brokenVase first started at blogspot 5 years ago, it used to be a secret site that no one knew... I joined the blog circle of comunity and started blogging... It was a nice feeling to blog without thinking or being 'politically correct'... 'cost no one I knew, knew about this! I could write anything!...
now... even with the disclaimer (see below) I would still hesitate... who would read this? has brokenVase shift its goal? It is now a mask that many of us put on daily when we are with people... sigh...
On a lighter node...
Yes! It's my birthday and I truly blessed day this is! I thank God for a wonderful wife that truly pampers me and friends around me to share my Joy! Thank you Hsu for the Shrek 2 DVD! We will have a ball of a time watching it!
On the career node...
I finally quit at Dominos! With my change in job scope at Leonardo and my change in status in QUT I figured I no longer need to send pizzas any more ... I may miss that one day... but with my kind of work load now I have no time to miss it... just glad i have more time for kat and rest 
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//2.11.2004 6:20:34 AM
Too Much Blessing Too Little Worship
A pastor once said during the service 'it's not how much we know it's who we know' when talking about success in our worldly life....
All through my life from poly...to army... to uni... to honors and now when I started working.... This has been real! God has blessed my with 'who I meet' and being at the right place at the right time. And most of the time I didn't even ask for it. I see the wonders of God's hand in my life's history and feel blessed... yet... sad...
Grace... it means to recieve that which you don't deserve... And I of all people don't... I don't go to church enough, I don't pray enough, I don't read the bible enough...
Now when you actually start to feel this too-much-blessing-too-little-worship feeling and you try to do something.. you feel MORE guilty 'cos you are re-acting to the blessing and not retro-acting to it...
Oh well... I guess it is good to once in a while reflect on such things... it is healthy for the soul...
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//29.11.2004 12:52:28 PM
CPA
ok, like so, i got my application of CPA approved. so i am an official CPA of Singapore. so it means that behind my name in name cards or business letters, i can put the title, CPA. so exciting...
don't ask me what the title does for me. i guess nothing spectular. it is just a title that may aid in me finding a accounting or auditing job.
so anyone out there knows of a job available?
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//27.11.2004 9:24:25 PM
'i felt that i have known you already'
that was what alastair said to me when i met him the first time at merv's company annual dinner. apparently he has been reading our blog and know pretty much about our lives. which is kinda freaky, when someone is introduced to you for the first time and said that he has known you already. but he is pretty cool (not to mention, cute) and shared with us his many wonderful experiences living overseas.
merv's company dinner was quite nice. at first, both of us were pretty worried that we won't be able to mingle since he is still new to the company and i know nuts about IT. but i agreed with merv that we did pretty well the first time. all the people there were very very nice. had a nice time chatting with vicki and stuart, bronwyn and anthony, martin, alastair, luisa, ann and bill and a couple of others. it was really wonderful. i hope that we have more of these kind of experiences in the future.
on top of that, there were just liquor after liquor after liquor. not that i have something against liquor but phew, i had quite a bit of drinks that night. it has been a while since i drank like that after leaving singapore. kinda miss the drinking sessions with desmond and estella.
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//27.11.2004 9:12:31 PM
And so the secret is out...
angela, my very good girlfriend, is attached!!! to someone very very wonderful... and i am so happy and excited for her!! i know many will wonder why i am so happy and excited. well, like i have explained in the previous blog entry, i've got hysteria syndrome. nay, kidding....
when you have a friend so wonderful, you naturally will be very happy for her when she has found someone so wonderful as well.
i just called the bunch of them (who are having a gathering at this present moment and screamed into their ears with joy after they screamed into mine, singing the birthday song for me. thank you so much, sisters! miss you girls so much...
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//25.11.2004 12:08:14 PM
Hysteria
i got a big secret. and i am so excited about the news and it is bursting within me!!! i called mervin and screamed into his ear. then i saw rufus online and told him about it... even though it has absolutely nothing to do with him. it is not even someone he knows.
i told him that i am always so excited for other people's matters and wonder if it is a medical condition. he said it is 'hysteria' and i should go see a doctor... and then tell him what? rufus said that i should go and learn the def leppard song called hysteria and sing to the doctor. ha hahaha....
but anyway, i am so excited and happy about the news. i can't say what it is coz i am supposed to keep it a secret until the rest hears about it as well... i think i am crazy.
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//20.11.2004 11:39:48 AM
It is Finished!!!
my exams are officially over. the last paper was torturing. coz by the time i reached the last question, i was quite brain dead so i really didn't write much. on top of that, this paper is graded on a bell-curve basis so it is pretty yucky.
BUT it is finished, so i am just thankful for that. for His grace that brought me through, for all the prayers made by my frenz n family. thank you thank you thank you.
now, i need to concentrate on learning how to drive (i stop to study for the exams) and also cleaning up the house. many weeks never clean already..eeee...
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//16.11.2004 7:42:28 PM
IT IS APPROVED!!!
my spouse visa is approved!!! now, i am considered a temporary resident.
alright, i know some guys out there must be wondering why i am a temporary resident and not a permanent resident. spouse visa is a temporary visa as the government is trying to prevent fake marriages from those who just want to get into australia permanently. so they issue a temporary visa and if two years later, they are satisfied that it is not a 'fake' marriage, they will grant me the permanent visa.
but temporary or permanent, i am just thankful that i have a more permanent visa than a student visa. now, i can start working full time and start studying part time as well. when i am on the student visa, the requirement is that, i must be studying full time which can be restrictive when both of us are staying here semi-permanently on our own.
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//15.11.2004 6:57:07 PM
Lovey Dovey
i think merv is just feeling lovey dovey after watching '50 First Dates'. ha ha haha.....
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//13.11.2004 6:49:32 PM
Two down, One more to go
i had my two papers on the 10th night and 11th morning.
thank god for His grace.
one more to go and i am losing the motivation to study...
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//9.11.2004 3:43:20 PM
stormy weather
finally, it is the stormy season in aussieland. i never realised that australia can have such menancing weather. someone made a comment that the weather here makes him/her feel like he/she is back in singapore. the sky is perpertually dark all the time and there is frequent rumbling of the thunder and flashes of the lightning.
and i am always sitting at the desk trying to revise for my exams, with my bright table lamp and a candle burning. oh ya, and the corrs playing from my win media player. damn, it really feels like those exams revision seasons i had back in singapore.
mervin is at work and he is not home yet even though it is almost 6pm. he is starting to feel stressed with his conference paper which is due soon and the new job's changing requirements - fly, don't fly, fly, don't fly. now that we are not on any parents' scholarship, he has been working hard to support two of us, without a slight complaint. i truly thank God for such a wonderful and caring hubby.
come home soon and we can have dinner and spend some quality time together. oopss.. i forgot i need to study...
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//6.11.2004 6:24:44 AM
Girl's vain thoughts
mervin's company is going to have an early christmas company dinner in end November. and mervin wants me to go with him.
i need to get a nice dress. there are so many in the shops but they are so expensive and made in china. feel a little cheated to come to australia to buy things made from china.
i need to go lose some weight. self discipline to hit the gym. self discipline.
i need some nice accessories. been looking at some chandlier earrings and necklaces.
oh, i have got a pair of shoes already. thank god, no need to go hunting for them as well.
i need to go shopping!!!
oh.... but i need to STUDY for EXAMS!!!!
arrrggghhhh.......
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//6.11.2004 6:20:05 AM
Birthdays
it is mervin's birthday today. happy birthday sweetie!!!
last year this time, we were busily preparing for the wedding and were so channelling all our resources for the wedding so we both agreed that we won't buy present for each other. (oh by the way, my birthday is in november as well.)
but this year, i have some allowance from mervin so i was thinking of a present to get him. i know he NEEDS things that are expensive and we still can't afford them yet.
but anyway, i got him a book. a MechWarrior book. we are into Mechwarrior toys and books. it was so difficult to get the book here. borders didn't have them. dymocks as well. angus and robertson too. i was about to give up and go meet him at his office when i passed by this small cramped specialty bookstore which sell only crime, mystery and sci-fi books. found it!!! but it was expensive. oh well, even if i get someone to buy it from singapore and post it over, it would come up to be about the same as well.
this year, i have gotten an early birthday present as well as a super early christmas present. hsu got me some really nice skincare product from this aromatherapy shop. thank you so much! they are really very nice.
also, mervin bought me tickets to the musical, Mama Mia, which is coming back to Brisbane. so sweet right? thank you dear. i am finally going to watch it! (mervin caught it three years ago and i was so sad that he went without me.)
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//4.11.2004 1:48:52 PM
Congrats...
at this point of my life, wedding bells ring all the time around me. it is always a wonderful time attending friends' church weddings and look at two absolutely blissful persons' faces as they make a solemn vow in the presence of God and their loved ones.
like the music minners in NTUCF will say in our own lingo, 'heart melt melt'.
even as i am in aussieland, i know of a couple of friends who are getting married. some i have already knew about it almost a year ago as they start to plan, some i just heard about the joyous matter.
i was wrapping a wedding present with some lovely gold wrapping paper that says 'congrats' and was thinking about that word 'congrats'. what am i congratulating this couple about?
i came to my own conclusion... congrats for finding that special someone that you know will spend the rest of his/her life loving & cherishing you, walking through life's journey, hand in hand, in stormy or fine weather.
so congrats to those who have found that someone, whether or not, it is a big church wedding or an extravagant chinese dinner, or just a simple event where vows are exchanged and boring papers are signed.
congrats, because you have been truly blessed with love.
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//4.11.2004 11:24:21 AM
Boring...
i think my life is boring...
mervin's mum and relatives are leaving tonight for Singapore. it is difficult to really study when they are around coz i just can't concentrate.
there are a lot of stuff for me to revise but i am stressed that i am not stressed at all. i think mervin is more stressed about my studies than i am. there are just so many things to do but i am just lazying around. and i think my life is boring... what is wrong with me?
life is boring....
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//1.11.2004 7:52:03 AM
Exams
i have got papers on the 10th, 11th and the 20th. and i have not started studying yet..... *bish*
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